Quit dance 

It is with tears, that are endlessly running down my face, and a broken heart that I write this: 

I am not able to become a dancer and I will have to quit dancing. 

My L5 bone on the left side in the spine is totally broken. The right side has a bad stress reaction and will break if I push it harder. This is a really bad back injury which needs time off. And bones do not heal in two days. Taking time off will heal the stress reaction but never grow the bones back to where they were. 

I cannot be a dancer with this type of injury. Dancing will kill my body and it is not worth it in the long term. This is a serious and dangerous injury which you cannot dance with. 

It does not only break my heart, to face the truth and realise the fact that I cannot become a dancer, but it breaks me. My soul and my body. I am more than sad. Not only to quit my passion and what I love to do the most, but it breaks me when I realise I will have to leave my amazing life here in Zurich. I have gotten the most wonderful friends here, in the entire world. I love them endlessly and I already miss them extremely much. ❤️

I am flying back to India and to my family in the beginning of next week. 

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Finishing at 3.10

Good evening everyone!

This has been a pretty good day. I was not able to do full class though, not at all. I cannot lift my legs over 90, no jumps, turns, bends in any directions and so on… The back pain was too bad to do pas de deux class, which I then had to watch instead.

I honestly really hate my back at the moment. I just wish I wasn’t injured & could do class perfectly well without pain… Why didn’t I appreciate all the thousands of dance classes I have done in my life, without this pain?

Today the General Knowledge class was cancelled, which meant that we finished with English at 3.10 pm. How amazing? 

Me & some others had great fun, hanging out around the boarding house area. Actually it pretty much summer outside, so we really enjoyed the nice weather. George and I later spent 2 hours deep cleaning his & Luca’s flat. I can tell you it was more than needed. What would they do without me & my cleaning talents?

My mom and little sister are coming tomorrow morning, I cannot wait until I get to see them again. It has only been five weeks but it feels like I haven’t seen them in decades. ❤

I hope you all have had a very good day. Good night!

Unbearable pain 

I am currently in bed, reading another book of mine. I had; and still have, extremely much pain in my back, the people at the school advised me to go back to the boarding house. 

As always, Mondays are not the best days ever. On our way to school we were all half asleep, listening to music & trying to survive the impulse of not going back to the Internat again. Exhausted. 

Today and tomorrow, we have physio body checks. Me, with two other girls from my class, we had our checks at 10.30 am, today. Which meant that we left earlier from the Music Theory, to warmup. We went to three different rooms where they basically checked our bodies from a physio perspective. How stable your body is, core muscles, turnout, strength, height of jumps and so on. 

I already had a lot of pain, from pushing the back too hard on the open doors on Saturday, but when doing the check it just got too intense. I wasn’t even prepared for it to be that painful, totally unbearable. I got permission to not dance today, they advised me to go to the internat & rest. 

I slowly made my way back to the boarding house, only stopped by Migros to buy some lunch & snacks- then I’ve been in bed ever since I got here. 

The only good news from today is: that I have an appointment booked on Thursday, at 10.00 am, for an MRI. I cannot wait to see my mom and sister on that day ❤ 

I am definitely hoping to do class tomorrow, I absolutely hate not being able to participate… 

 

Rose shimmer makeup

Since the weather suddenly decided to go back to summer, from being all cold and fall-ish- I made today’s eye makeup look inspired by that. With rose shimmer colors.

Highlight- Naked Flushed palette 
Elf mineral eyeshadow- Sweet
Eyeshadow primer- Lorac behind the scenes eye primer
Lorac Pro eyeshadow palette 2 Colors: LT brown, Mocha, Cocoa & Beige
Brushes from Real Techniques, Åhléns, H&M, Urban Decay & Ecotools
Lipstick Estée Lauder Candy Shimmer 16

Start with applying a thin coat of an eyeshadow primer over your lids. This, to make the colors stand out more & make them last longer as well.

With the damp Urban Decay brush, I put the ELF mineral eyeshadow all over my lid. Then I used the bigger blending brush, from Åhléns, to blend the light brown (LT brown) in the decrease. To make the look darker, I used the purple real techniques brush with the color Mocha, in the end of my eye lid. To darken the look even more, I put the Coca color over Mocha with the rounded H&M brush. Then I used the fluffy blending brush to even everything out- you don’t want any harsh lines in this makeup look.

I once again applied a coat of the ELF mineral eyeshadow, mainly focusing on putting it on the center of my eye lid. Then I use the light Beige color from the Lorac palette, to put on the inner corners of my eyes.

I highlight my eyes, by applying the very pretty highlighter from the Naked Flushed palette, in the corners of my eyes & under the eyebrows. This gives a lighter touch to the whole look.

I finish of my makeup by putting on mascara, I am currently using the Lancome Hypnose Drama. It’s a really good, but pricey, mascara.

I hope you liked this quick & short little makeup tutorial, I absolutely love makeup & will continue doing blogposts like this.