Back talkin’ 

A roller coaster goes up, to go down, it takes turns and has curves. Sometimes it is faster and sometime it might as well slow down. So does recovery. 

The daily question: will my back ever be fine? 

Well, honestly I have no idea. My back has been, as you know, feeling really great for some weeks now. Recently though, I have experienced some sort of pain again.

The pain always scares me, it reminds of how unbearable painful it was months ago.

I have no specific idea why I feel like this. Do I over work? Do I need to rest? Maybe I need to train harder? What I certainly shouldn’t have done though, is to play volleyball. Unlike ballet, team sports are rather unpredictable and I wished someone would have stopped me and prevented me from playing…

Well… I can’t do anything about it now. My back feels already better though, if I carry heavy stuff or jump around too much, I do feel it. Almost like a stab in the lumber spine, very light but extremely unpleasant and scary.

My plan is to take it easy some days from now. Meaning, no jumping but easy running and NO movements that cause pain. I had an hour and a half of lunch break today, I took the time working out and my back hasn’t gone any worse since then. That’s good!

I do physio once a week, here in Sigtuna. It feels SO much better to be surrounded by people who somewhat knows about the life as a dancer or overall how to treat injuries. Although I am very experienced and I know exactly what exercises I should do, and how, it can feel very lonely to be completely alone in this. Therefore, seeing a physiotherapist once a week is good. The physio in Sweden differs a lot compared to in India. I honestly cannot wait until I am back in Delhi again, to not only see my family but also to do the amazing physio there.

It hurts my heart everyday, seeing how my friends & generally dancers all over the world practice dance on a daily basis. It is SO weird to be completely surrounded by normal people, though I really like the girls I live with, I miss the dance world so much… I’m trying to not get too sad about the situation and actually try to enjoy it instead. To take each and everyday at a time. I will start with ballet next week though. Thinking about that makes me genuinely happier at least ❤

Now I have to go back to studying, I am having an exam on Monday in social studies…

XOXO

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