Surgery update

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Today I am exactly one week post surgery! Honestly I think everything feels pretty great. Me and my crutches are working out fine, the bruises on my arms are almost gone (only thanks to the socks I put over the crutches to make them softer) and I am walking with around 25% weight on the foot- sometimes less and sometimes more. I even tried to pointe my foot today, as you can see in the photo. Keep in mind that it is NOT as good as it usually is, which is not so strange, I’ve just been through a surgery- after all, but it was still so much better than I thought.

This afternoon I met with a physic therapist. We talked and explained the situation, he wrote some papers, gave me some information and we also measured my pointe vs flex. It made me feel more positive about the rehabilitation and I can’t wait to dance without the pain! Before the break I got a very good summery of “how to do your rehab” after an ostrigonum surgery, from my school. By week 2 you are allowed to stand on one foot on a balance board and start working more on the movement of the foot. This evening was spent doing a full workout with my body, then I took around 15 minutes for my feet exercises. Now I am keeping my foot a bit higher up, while icing it, to make the swelling go down. We changed the bandages yesterday and the scar looks great!

Hopefully I will come back stronger than before, once I’m back in the studio again.

Moving to two places at the same time 

I adore travelling. The feeling of a new country, culture, weather and people. It’s absolutely amazing to discover new places and I’m so thankful that my family and I have travelled a lot.
We have been wanting to be expats for a long time and we once got a job offer in Zambia, Africa. We didn’t take it since that would have been too hard for us, plus my siblings and I were quite young. Accepting the offer in India was different. We’ve lived in India before, during 3 months, because my mom worked there. Therefore we have a good connection with India. I learn’t a style of Indian dance, Bharata Natyam, with a professional indian dancer,  while we were there. He got me costume and makeup, later I performed a solo, that I learn’t, when I got back to Sweden for my school. It’s me, getting my makeup on, in the photos.
The poverty differ very much from place to place in India. By that time we lived in the south, Kerala/Varkala, which is a part with a big poverty. This time we will move a bit outside Dehli, in the north. My sisters and brother will attend an international school and overall the area we’ll live in is safer. We all are exited to start this new journey with a completely different life. Not only things such as the culture, weather and infrastructure are different but also, for example, the school will also be very different for my siblings, with the uniforms. We have, our whole life, been living in a house, now we’ll move to an apartment and, at the same time, I will get to discover the life at a boarding house.
India and Zurich are very different compared to one another. I’m very happy and excited that I’ll get to experience both worlds. Leaving my loving, caring and wonderful family will be hard. I will miss them from the deepest of my heart, but at the same time I am more than excited to start my new life there. Getting new experiences, meeting new people, while getting a really good dance education sounds good to me. I will talk to them over FaceTime every day, same as with my friends. It makes me sad though, thinking about how I am choosing the dance  over staying with my family and discover India together with them. But opening one door doesn’t mean you are closing the others & I will be with my family every holiday and talk to them everyday. Hopefully things will work out pretty great with India, Zurich and the big moving from our house in Stockholm to Dehli with all the furniture.
I will let you know how it goes!

Photos

Isn’t my sister just the most gorgeous person on earth? <33

Throwing it back to midsummer. My dress is from Vila and Thea’s is from Superdry, hat from H&M.

Good night!

My way to ballet

I like how every little detail of its movement should be precised and filled with a light feeling. I love how much hard work, dedication and determation you must put in to the life of being a ballet dancer. I absolutely adore the moments on stage but also, as well in the studio. Days which are filled with dance are the best days. 
When I was ten years old, my former class and I, went to watch a performance at the Royal Swedish ballet school. We were one of the many classes that were invited to watch it, with the purpose to get more people interested and to introduce the dance. They set up the performance, which was filled with dance and joy, to make more people apply to the school. We even got to see all the, from what I remember, amazing costumes, and I was more than happy to see what the stage looked like from behind. They sure got me interested and later that day, when I got home, I begged mom to put me in that school. I was overwhelmed with the dance and could barely stop moving. A few weeks later we got an application form sent to us by post. At first I thought the people at the ballet school knew who I was. Minutes later, my parents killed my happiness by telling me that they are most likely sending out that to all the people who watched the performance. Anyhow, my mom sceptically sent in the application to them. I had done some figure skating before but never ballet. Mom really didn’t think I was going to make it. The auditions got closer and we bought me a leotard, ballet tights, soft shoes and some hair things. I was so happy already. Unfortunately, my family and I later realised we were going to be in Thailand by the time it was auditions. At first, we were just going to skip the whole thing, but then we decided to email them anyway. They answered that I was gladly accepted to do the audition later, an extra audition, among with the ones who wasn’t able to do it on the other day. Usually it should have been three or four tests, I don’t really remember since I only got to do two. You had to wait at the school for about an hour to get the result in your hand afterwards, to know whether you passed the audition, or not. I was extremely happy to found out that I passed the audition and I was onto the next one, the final one, which I also passed. Leaving the normal life and accepting the place at the ballet school wasn’t a big thing for me. Even though I hadn’t taken any ballet classes before that, I was thrilled and over exited to go to that special school. My 10 year old self didn’t dream of becoming a ballerina (yet) but I wanted to dance so bad.
I will write more about my life and experiences, at the Royal Swedish Ballet school, in another post. You will find out about when I got my first pair of pointe shoes, how my first classes at the school were like and all the auditions I passed to the other grades.

First workout

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The perks of having summer break in a country house leads to not always having internet that works… This post should have gone up yesterday afternoon but nothing made it work. To bad, but here it is!
The day started with a homemade very tasty, and actually healthy, breakfast. Later in the day we also bought delicious ice cream. We drove home from our friends a little bit before lunch and my friend came with us, she’ll stay here until tomorrow. In the afternoon  I did my first real workout since the surgery. Because it’s summer break I decided to take five days of rest, doing absolutely nothing. Rest is as important as the daily training, once in a while.
I started with intense core exercises, such as sit-ups, plank, Russian twists etc. During the whole time, I was wearing weight on my ankles, it’s the purple things you see in the photo and it’s a great tip to increase the exercise. After that I did back exercises, back lifts. Then I did exercises for turnout and later I stretched. I also worked a bit on my port des bras, I really need to control my arms better when dancing. I know many of you want exercises for turnout, lifting legs and so on. I will definitely post loads of tips around next week- when I’m able to use my foot more, which means I can show everything better.
I haven’t really done any foot exercises for my foot since surgery. I am still on crutches, allowed to walk with 25% weight on the foot, even though it feels as if I could do it without them. I guess I just have to wait one more week- order from the doctor. The foot is a bit swollen so I’ll keep it high up the rest of the evening. I have an appointment with a physiotherapist on Monday for further information.

Midsommar

Hello everyone!

Today it is, what we in Sweden call, “Midsommar” and I guess the english word for it, is Midsummer. It’s a very traditional holiday here in Sweden, with flowers, sing-along songs, cookies, cakes and of course, lots of dancing. Me and my family celebrated it together with another family, they are very close friends to us and have children in the same age as we have. Our parents even knew each other before we were born! We actually lived in New York for around two years together with them, due to another job offer. (Fun fact)  We were there September 11th 2001 when the twin towers were crashed down during a terror attack. This family, that we are spending the day with, live in the same area as we did during the time we lived in Skåne, south of Sweden, it is super nice to be back where I once lived! I absolutely love this place.

Anyway, it was a good day with lots of fun! My arms are exhausted though, from all the jumping around everywhere. Now I’m looking forward to watch a horror movie with the others.

Good night!

Injury and surgery

Ballet is my life and I absolutely love it but, the glorious life of a ballerina comes with some downsides: injuries. 
About a year ago I started feeling something in my left foot. In the beginning it was just like it felt more exhausted than the other one. Since it’s already my weaker, but more flexible, foot from the beginning, I thought it was because it was over worked, so I didn’t think much about it.
It wasn’t until just before Christmas that the pain hit me really bad. I can’t remember doing something specific, the pain just gradually increased. During the winter break it was really bad. I couldn’t stretch it at all. Maybe that sounds like “it doesn’t matter” to a normal person, since it was while we had holidays and I didn’t have dance classes anyway, but if you know me, you know I can’t hold myself to not dance when at home or anywhere not in a dance studio. I could walk properly because the pain wasn’t when I flexed my foot. The problem was when I tried to point it, I really couldn’t do it because first of all, the pain, but it must have been swollen inside since it was absolutely impossible to even try to push my foot. The outside of the foot looked totally normal, from what I remember, and I didn’t feel any specific pain when touching the area of the foot- which where behind the ankle bone. The most annoying thing during that period of time wasn’t the fact that my foot was so hurt I could barely use it, expect for walking, it was that we didn’t know what was wrong with it, at all.
When I came back after that break, with no signs of feeling better in my foot, I directly went to a doctor. During this time I, among the two others from my grade and some people from the lower and higher grades were chosen to participate in that year’s Nutcracker at the Royal Swedish opera house, together with the company. It was such an amazing experience and we had so much fun. Overall it was a great time there and I’m very thankful I got to be in that production. Due to the fact that we had to spend all our days at the opera, I couldn’t book an appointment with the doctor at the school. We had classes at the opera, sometimes together with the company, we did all our work from school there, we ate there and we rehearsed there. I had no time to go to school at all. I should mention that my school is a school were we get all the curricular subjects together with the dance classes and this collaboration with the opera was just normal. Since my pain in the foot was so bad I couldn’t even take the classes anymore, I got an appointment with the doctor at the opera house. They said that either it’s an inflammation indicated by an extra bone, which some people might have, or maybe it’s just an inflammation caused by too much hard work. Inflammation could go away with icing and resting- which meant I wasn’t able to take any more classes. While the others had class, I was working alone in a studio or in a gym, sometimes even treating the foot with laser. The pain was still bad and my foot was way far from what it used to be, in it’s flexibility. Even though it hurt a lot, I still decided to do all the performances that were left. We were soldiers in Per Isberg’s Swedish version of the nutcracker, in case anyone’s interested.
When I was back in school and the performances were over, I could finally take real care of the injury.
I did x-Rays and a MRI and we could later on finally confirm that my pain was due to the ostrigonum, a small extra bone at the back of the ankle that causes inflammation and pain when pointing the foot. It doesn’t really count as an injury, since it’s not caused by an accident, the pain is due to the extra bone. I had an extra bone in both of my feet but I haven’t experienced any sort of problem in the right one yet (touch wood). A few weeks later, after I have had my auditions to the gymnasium at the Royal Swedish Ballet school (I got in), I took an cortisone injection, which actually helped! But only for a few weeks and then the pain was back again… Actually worse than before. Now my only option was surgery.
I did an arthroscopy surgery at the 20th of June (8.30am to be exact). I was asleep during the surgery and I had absolutely no problems waking up, such as fussiness or feeling sick. Since I wasn’t allowed to eat from 00.00am before the surgery I got some food directly after waking up.

Right now I’m on crutches, which honestly sucks so much. My arms literally get bruises and I just want to let go of those annoying crutches and walk like any other normal person. I will be on crutches for one more week and then I can start walking normally! I’m already looking forward to it. Another annoying thing is that I’m not allowed to swim until three weeks post surgery…

One thing that was actually scaring me a lot, until just recently, was that I didn’t really feel anything when touching my foot, since the anaesthesia was still left. Luckily it disappeared around Wednesday and now I’m happy to say that I feel everything that touches my foot. It has been slightly blue and it hurts a bit, sometimes less and sometimes more, but that’s totally normal, I mean, considering I just had surgery.
Other than that, my experience with surgery was great, I hope the result will be good and I really wish for a speedy recovery.